Now that everyone has posted a rough draft of their scholarship statement/narrative, let's share some feedback with one another to help improve them.

To do so, post your responses to the following questions to the TWO classmates whose drafts are posted BELOW yours on the discussion forum. Students whose postings are at the top of the discussion forum (typically the last two students who posted) should respond to the students at the bottom as follows:

In this way, everyone should be giving and receiving two peer responses. 

Post your peer response by clicking Reply at the bottom of each classmate's draft (use the resume posting if they posted each piece separately) and entering your peer response there.

No need to include the original peer response questions. You can simply number your responses.


Peer Response Questions

  1. Criteria: Does this draft meet the guidelines for the scholarship? E.g., does it answer the question provided and meet the word count minimum?

  2. Focus: Does this draft make clear how receipt of this scholarship would be put to good use? Does it feel persuasive in terms of why this particular student should receive the scholarship versus all of the other (often similarly qualified) applicants? What suggestions can you make to make this statement more persuasive?

  3. Hook & Frame: Make a suggestion for an effective hook and frame, which function in lieu of an intro and conclusion. How might the writer make the beginning and ending more engaging and resonant for the scholarship committee who sometimes have to read dozens of these?
     
  4. Format: Note if the writer needs to delete any unnecessary beginnings like "Hello, my name is ______, and I'm a student at SCCC" (that info is not needed, as it'll be elsewhere on the application and just wastes valuable word count). Remember that with such short statements, every word matters, so help the writer be more clear and concise; make any suggestions you can for sentence-level revisions that save space.  

  5. Open feedback: If you have ANY suggestions not covered by the above, feel free to share constructive, positive revision suggestions with your classmates!